Peaks and Valleys

Nomathemba has clung to me since we first met her. It's rare that I have an opportunity to set her down. When I try, she gets upset and cries for "mommy" and tries to jump back in my arms. Each night thus far she's slept in my bed beside me waking up multiple times a night calling out for "mommy". Only after I say "mommy's here, it's okay" does she fall back asleep. At first, I was beyond excited hearing her call me "mommy" so soon. However, yesterday I learned that the children often refer to their caregivers at the orphanage as "mommy". Bummer... In time, she will know I am her mommy and connect these dots. But for now, I will meet her needs as best as I can and try to earn her trust.

We have also learned that Nomathemba has rarely been outside of the walls of her orphanage. Visits outside the orphanage are generally limited to well visits at the government hospital. For that reason, she is terrified of the outdoors. Fortunately a friend loaned me a toddler carrier which has enabled us to venture outdoors while allowing her to feel secure. We have taken an afternoon strolls around the neighborhood almost daily which has helped to acclimate her.  Here's how we roll:

This past Sunday our Airbnb owners (did Matt mention how AMAZING they are in his first post?!) took us around Jo'burg in their car and we stopped by the mall to buy ice cream for the girls. This was presumably her first opportunity to try ice cream and it was a blessing to experience this "first" with her. She absolutely LOVED the ice cream cone! (Just another reason she fits perfectly in the McCawley family!)

It's also been an adjustment for Nomathemba to have a "daddy' since she's only known female caregivers at the orphanage. She was very cautious of Matt when she first met him (and still is sometimes)--I know kid- he freaks me out sometimes too!  Joking aside, it's been nice to see her slowly warm up to him over the past couple days. She will now play alongside him and goes to him to fix things (cause he's good at that!). Here's the sweetest picture that I got of them building Legos together:

Another eye-opening thing for us was to see just how small she really was. She's a few months older than our youngest daughter (3 1/2 years old) and here's a picture of them together to see the size difference ...and a little bit of her personality shining through- love her!:

Yesterday, our social worker took us to the hospital/pediatrician's office where she's received care since birth. We were grateful for some the opportunity to visit the hospital and meet some of the staff that have cared for her. Here's a picture of the pediatric wing of the hospital:

We were pleasantly surprised to meet an amazing doctor who had just begun her residency there. Her parents, both doctors, had adopted her older brother (20 years ago) and was thus very sympathetic to our journey. She spent a significant amount of time with us and turned a blind eye while we frantically took pictures of Nomathemba's entire medical chart. This was a true blessing as it provided us much more information than what we had previously received at the time of our referral. God is so good.

The transition has also been somewhat difficult for our other three kids. Nomathemba is always by my side which has often left them feeling left out. In addition, we're trying to stay on top of their independent studies homework which they're not too keen on. That said, these little hurdles are to be expected and generally speaking I feel the transition is going pretty well for our entire family.

We finally rented a car today so that we have a little more freedom and can venture out an explore South Africa a little more than just the walls of our Airbnb. Out first outing:  a trip to the local Makro (kind of like a Super Walmart/Costco) for groceries/ household items. Let's get real- Sadie threw a tantrum down all of the aisles... embarrassing and energy depleting. Ugh. 

Also, while we were there, it started to thunder and lightning storm (which is common in December here) and Matt walked to get the car and pick us up. While we waited, a South African lady asked "is that really your baby?" I replied "yes" and she immediately rolled her eyes and turned her back to me. Wow. I'm not certain if this perspective is the exception or the norm, but apparently she wasn't very keen on interracial adoption. Part of me wishes I would have started a conversation with her, but I didn't. Next time, I suppose, but I was still recovering from Sadie's tantrum...

So, that's what has been going on with us. The highs and the lows. I call it "peaks and valleys" because we have really good moments (sometimes days) and really challenging ones, sometimes immediately after. You never know when a "valley" will hit. I know her little heart hurts though. A couple of nights ago we ended the day with her crying herself to sleep and me rocking her. And nothing I could do was comforting her. Times can be tough, but we're so blessed for this opportunity. In time I know that the bonding and attachment (rather than just the clinging to me that she is currently doing) will happen. 

Time + dedication. 

We are "all in" sweet girl. Always.

With Love,

The McCawleys